RightTurns.com - Columnists  

Political Correctness for Dummies-2002
A Guide to Acceptable Social Chatter for the Hip

May 15, 2002


We think it's time to update the lexicon of political correctness. After the horrendous terrorist attack in 2001, chic couples and singles in hip social situations are confused -- especially in Hollywood. What can they say without offending? What is socially unacceptable? What's 'in' and what's 'out'?

So many of our cultural elite harbor a subtle disdain for all that is traditional America, especially all those flags. But they don't want to appear to be in agreement with the terrorists' criticism of America. So here's a brief (and partial) guide to acceptable cocktail chatter:

OUT: Don't openly criticize terrorists who have targeted America for attacks. Do not call them brave or principled. Hide your secret admiration for their dedication and courage. In fact, in social situations, don't bring up Al Qaida, Taliban, Afghanistan.
IN: Instead attack a convenient America proxy -- the State of Israel. Condemn Israeli oppression of Palestinians. You're free to call Palestinian terrorists "militants", "freedom fighters", and victims. You may openly praise Palestinian suicide bombers as courageous and dedicated; they're fighting for a homeland. Try to express token concern for the Israeli victims of suicide bombers. This way you'll able to stand with the Muslim world in opposition to Western-type democracy and economy without praising the 911 suicide bombers

Out: Don't condemn outright Western religion, not even fundamentalist Christians. They'll be time for that later..when it all dies down.
In: Instead use the current revelations about immoral priests to attack the Roman Catholic Church. This way, you can politely express your disdain for religion without offending those who are believers. You can condemn an entire church for the behavior of a few their priests and superiors. (You should not condemn all of Islam for the actions of a fanatical wing of the Muslim faith.)

Out: Don't condemn Arab countries in the Middle East run by depots, elite families, and outright thugs. Don't bring up their treatment of women.
In: Instead read books on Islam and talk about the devoutness of its believers and the richness of the Islamic tradition.

Out: Don't bring up the Middle Eastern descent of the 911 terrorists.
In: Demand that airport screening include Europeans and Americans of all nationalities, race, ages..even the elderly and physically disabled. Profiling is alway wrong.

Out: Don't remind your guests that the 911 terrorists carried normally non-lethal cutting instruments in overpowering four jetliners.
In: Continue to oppose the arming of airline pilots. Guns are never the answer. If you acknowledge that to safeguard air travel, pilots should be armed, gun lovers will boast about the positive value of guns.

Out: American flags attached to your cars or flying from your windows.
In: Claim that your patriotism doesn't require you display a flag.

To really play it safe, (and that's the essence of political correctness) avoid any discussion of international events. Instead, as much as possible, focus your cocktail talk on domestic issues. You remember don't you: prescription drugs, deficits, Medicaid and Medicare. In this way, you can help everyone forget the events of September 2001, which was probably an isolated incident. We all need to let it pass into the history books. The flag waving is so annoying.

You have a responsibility to drag America, willing or not, into it's progressive, tolerant future. We all had enough of those horrible images of the World Trade Center destruction. If we dwell on them, we delay America's unstoppable march to a global borderless future. Above all, avoid conservative websites and radio talk shows. You'll only get depressed. You don't need anymore negativity in your life. You've generated enough over the last few years.


Award-winning TV producer, talk show host, and Republican leader Arthur Bruzzone has written over 150 political articles for national and regional media, and has commented on political issues for American and European television and radio networks.  His articles and columns have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco Examiner, Campaign & Elections Magazine, among other publications.

© 2001, 2002 RightTurns.com
All Rights Reserved